Dating as a single parent is never easy. I think it's especially difficult for single moms with daughters and here's why: there are a lot of weirdos out there that tend to pray on us "vulnerable" types. Fortunately I wouldn't consider myself as a vulnerable person. But there are a few strikes against me. I'm about to turn 35 - not too old, but definitely fighting a ticking clock for the husband and 3 additional children I'd like to have. And there is my little angel, who wants a "new daddy" or sometimes she says "step daddy" or "I could have two daddies." Needless to say, Kareena wants a mommy and daddy in her home. She wants a normal childhood that she sees her friends have. So anytime I consider dating someone, her first question has now become "does he like kids?" I've learned the hard way to not introduce my daughter to anyone, but her and I tend to look at the profiles on match.com together. However, on occassion, she has spotted a man at the grocery store, park and even our pizza delivery guy once, and will randomly ask if he would marry her mommy and be her new daddy. So I try to protect both her and the potential date from any heart ache and weirdness.
Another hinderance is my time. Kareena's father only sees her every other Saturday for about 6-8 hours. Basically he babysits. My father has been kind enough to keep her one night a week, but usually that one night ends up being for one of the many church committee or council meetings I have. So I tend to do lunch dates if possible to avoid getting a sitter. But I have had to wait a couple months sometimes before I get to meet someone due to schedules and timing. And if I meet someone who also has children, timing is even more difficult. In fact, I would say the reason I stopped talking to last couple guys I've dated were kid related: one didn't have kids nor the patience or time to be in a relationship with someone with a child and the other had 4 children and lived an hour away from me. In case you weren't sure - the Brady Bunch truly is only a movie. Our kids were great together but 5 kids from 3-13 at one time while you are trying to get to know each other, that becomes chaotic. Too chaotic.
So how does a single mom get back into the dating scene? I've tried the friend setting up thing as well, but most of my friends are married with other married friends or single with "chronically single" friends...so I think when you get to your 30s finding potential mates become more difficult. Of course, being a true Pisces, I dream of bumping into my prince charming at Publix, or picking up the phone to a wrong number and chatting til sunrise or playing with my daughter at the park and my single father twin is there and our kids are playing, we start talking....well you get the idea. Sadly their are no fairy tales about single moms for me to use as guide.
So for now I will keep checking out profiles, looking all around in public, and hope that someday Kareena propositions the right guy to "marry my mommy." Then not only will my fairy tale come true, but my little princess will also have her happy ever after!
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