Well, every so often I must admit I have at total mental breakdown as a single mother and where my life is. Recently, just a few short weeks ago, this happened at Aldi's. My deepest apologies to all the people behind me and the clerk who was only trying to do her job. I really hate shopping at Aldi's. They rarely have what I need, I always forget to bring bags or boxes, and there is no cookie display for Kareena, so our trips there are less desirable than when we go to Publix. But on occassion my money is incredibly strapped and this was one of those days. I had literally $7 to buy 2 weeks worth of groceries and we had nothing at home - pasta but no sauce and some frozen veggies...but not enough to sustain me and my growing angel. So I went to Aldi's thinking I could get some ground beef, milk and maybe bread. Well, I used a quarter to get a cart, so I was down to $6.75. Milk is not cheap at Aldi's so in our first run I got milk, eggs, jello (it was only 30 cents and thought it would be nice for Kareena) and as I was walking to the checkout I realized we needed more than this. So I went to take my stuff off the conveyor belt and had to yell at Kareena for grabbing stuff she shouldn't and the lady started to ring us up. I explained I had changed my mind at the last minute and didn't want this stuff. She seemed personally insulted and I tried to nicely say that I only had so much money and wanted to re-evaluate what we got. She rolled her eyes and handed me the stuff to take back and kept the jello so Kareena didn't have a total break down. I put Kareena in the basket part of the cart and returned the eggs and bread. This time I opted for a large package of ground beef and just the milk. We wheeled back to the checkout and instantly a line of 5 people formed behind me. She rang up our stuff and put it in the cart - with Kareena and no bags. Then she told me my total $7.68. I thought I had at least $2 in my checking account, but apparently I did not. So I gave her the $6 and looked at the cart. Kareena in the meantime had opened the box of the jello and poked a whole in the beef. I couldn't return anything that would get me to $6. I started to cry, dropped my purse as I was digging for pennies and change. I apologized to all the people who seemed impatient and stared at me. Finally, someone said "how much do you need honey?" And one person gave the clerk $1 and someone else gave the rest. All I could say was "Thank you and God Bless you all" but I felt so humilated. And of course Kareena was on her A game with misbehaving so I had no patience. I continued to cry to the car, all the way home and once we got home. My poor little girl had no clue why mommy was upset or that money was such a hard thing for us.
Two hours later I got a text from a dear friend who heard me say I was shopping at Aldi's because of the small amount of money I had. She offered to loan me some money, I said no, she argued with me for 45 minutes and I realized God was answering a prayer for me. I accepted asking for just $30. She forced me to take more and we were able to shop at Walmart (not quite Publix but better than Aldi's) and get what we needed. I also had another friend two days later show up with boxes of food from Costco. Again, showing me God's grace and love.
As a single mom my struggles seem more magnified than those who are married with children or those who have no children...and yet I find support from these individuals when I need it most. I am an only child and my church and friends have become my extended family, especially since my divorce. Kareena and I are beyond blessed to have the people we have in our lives. And for now, I enjoy my single motherhood...at least until the next breakdown.
