Need to complain...

Have you ever felt like your life isn't fair?  I try to be happy with my life, look at my blessings and not the bad stuff, but sometimes I just feel like I'm stuck.  As a single mother, I'm stuck in a lot of ways.  In my work, as a parent, as a friend, my free time, and of course dating.  Everything revolves around my daughter, and is done for her, good or bad.  And, when you are a single mom making around $40,000, before taxes and deductions (not quite middle class but above poverty line for sure), your resources are very limited.  That's my complaint.  This blog will not be a year's worth of complaints, but it will outline the challenges, struggles and obstacles for a single parent, and it will also outline the great joys I have in my role.

The reason I developed this blog is because in the last year I've gotten into a little debt and barely making ends meet.  Not credit card debt, just a matter of only paying the bills I have the money for so other bills pile up.  In looking for a less expensive apartment or home, in a safe area, near a good school (my child starts Kindergarten next year), I realized that there are some very nice places for "income restricted" guidelines.  This means that at my current yearly, before tax, income, I could qualify if I had 4 more people living with me that don't have jobs.  That bothers me.  I work hard, have gone to school, and I have to pay for my own rent, my car, food, daycare, clothes, etc.  But seeing so many people, and a few I know personally, not working or working minimal hours and living in homes twice as big as mine, getting free food, free daycare, free health care...that kind of irks me.  It's like being stuck in the middle: not making enough to survive on but too much to get assistance.  I'm fortunate to have some help through my church and family, but what about other moms (or dads) like me that get no child support and make too much for assistance, and don't have that support system?

I recently heard on a radio talkshow that the host read that single parents are struggling the most in this economy - but I have yet to hear anyone take up our cause.  Poor people, yes.  Minorities, yes.  Sexual Orientation, yes.  But just being a middle income, single parent household - not so much. 

Besides the money, as a single mom, with a minimally active father of my child, I am the sole disciplinarian, comforter, playmate, bedtime story reader, nurse, etc.  When my child is sick, I get the call from preschool to pick her up and I'm the one who misses work to take care of her.  When she misbehaves at school, I'm the one who has to get the letter, phone call, meeting with the teacher (and she's only 4).  When I have a balance due at my daughter's doctors office, it is my name that gets sent to collections if I miss a payment.  I have to adjust my life for my child.  Sometimes I literally feel like "Heidi" no longer exists, and she's been replaced by ", Mommy, Bill payer, Paralegal, Coworker." 

Ok, so for my first post I've laid out all my complaints.  Hopefully in the coming days, weeks, years, you will see how much I do love my life and especially my daughter.  And perhaps a mind or two will open up to the struggles of single parents, specifically those stuck in the "middle" in many areas of their life.

God's Blessings to all!!

Heidi